How perfectionism can lead to burnout and what you can do about it

Do you remember how working hard was encouraged at school? I was reasonably academic and enjoyed handing my parents a good school report at the end of the school year. Working hard and getting the grades I needed to study A levels and then go on to university was really rewarding. It's the same with sports, the arts - wherever we might excel. At school we're rewarded for success. In the workplace we're rewarded for working hard. Even when we're working harder than we necessarily need to get the job done.

And whilst it's a good thing to work hard and learn what we're capable of, the constant pressure to succeed can lead to perfectionism. For those of us who sometimes struggle with perfectionism, we can find that the amount of effort we put in may be disproportionate to the outcome. We can end up putting in huge amounts of extra work on a project with only a small gain. Stressing over every detail can prevent us seeing the bigger picture and use up precious time and energy for little additional benefit. Consistently pushing ourselves to do better and to achieve more to the detriment of other areas of our lives can lead to burnout.

How to spot unhealthy perfectionism in ourselves

Do you feel like you're obsessing over small details and then running out of time to finish a project? Or you're working until midnight on something that you could have finished hours earlier? This could be a sign of unhealthy perfectionism. In my podcast interview with leadership coach, Jude Kempton, she says: 'no one at work is going to tell you you're working too hard.' Hard work is rewarded in the workplace but it comes with a cost that may lead to burnout. It's the same for people who are self employed. A client or customer is unlikely to have a problem with us working too hard. Unless it impacts the price they're paying, they are not going to ask us to do less. Ultimately, spending longer on an item or task that we're not being paid for results in us being paid less for the work we're doing. Taking more time and energy to complete something than it really needs has a negative financial impact. The extra 1% improvement that takes another few hours is probably unpaid work which reduces the value of the whole product or project.

As well as impacting our income, perfectionism steals time. When I first started my own business I built extra time into my diary to work on projects that I didn't bill the customer for. This was partly because I wasn't always sure how long a project would take and partly to allow for any unexpected problems. Although this reduced my earnings at the time, it was a helpful first step as I built up experience and developed a portfolio. Now I try to be more efficient in my use of time, and I quote for a project based on how long it will actually take. With four children and a busy life I need to work efficiently to earn a living within the time I have available. But I still have a tendency towards perfectionism. For example, spending longer writing emails than I need to, or poring over photos to find the perfect one for an Instagram post. I sometimes think to myself 'it's OK if I spend a bit longer working on a project. It's my time and I can choose how to use it.' But is it a good use of my time? If aiming for perfection is robbing me of time with my children, time in my relationships or time to prioritise my own wellbeing, I'd suggest it's probably not worth it.

How being a people-pleaser can lead to perfectionism

In my interview with Jude Kempton, she reminded me of something really important. We don't need to be liked by everyone. It may sound obvious but to a people pleaser it's a hard concept to take hold of. If we're able to let go of the desire to please everyone, perfectionism can loosen it's grip on us.

How can we stop perfectionism stealing our precious time and energy?

1. Learn how to say no

   We need to learn to say no to other people and to ourselves. Is someone expecting more than you have agreed for a product or project? Sometimes this can be avoided if we set clear expectations from the outset. But there are times when we need to have brave conversations. It might be that you can do what's being asked but it will cost more because of the extra time or resources. Or maybe you just need to say no - this isn't what we agreed. Work out what your healthy boundaries are and make sure you stick to them. Saying no to yourself can be just as tricky. It's easy to convince ourselves that a couple of extra hours work on something that is already good enough won't hurt, but it's a slippery slope to perfectionism and ultimately could lead to burnout. Remembering the reason for your boundaries can help you stick to them.

   
   

2. Find solutions that work for you

   Just because an influencer starts work at 5am every day and produces every perfect detail of whatever task they are working on doesn't mean that you should. If you end up feeling exhausted by mid-afternoon it's clearly not working for you. And don't forget that what you see online is at best highly curated and at worst, could well be fake. If you're putting yourself under pressure as a result of something you've seen online ask yourself these two questions: a) is it real? b) is it something that would work for you? If you can't answer yes to both questions, it's unlikely to be worth your effort.

   
   

3. Separate the You in your brand from the actual You.

   As a business owner, showing up on behalf of your brand is important. But we need to make sure we remember that although we are part of our brand, and our brand is part of us, we are more than our brand. The Helen who shows up for Cultivating Creative is part of me, but it's not all of me. Connecting ourselves too closely to our brand increases the pressure to produce perfection. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes and to learn. This will help us and our brand develop over time.

Perfectionism may initially seem like a good thing. Working harder is rewarded in many areas of life and that can be a good thing. But putting in extra time and energy to make tiny adjustments that make very little impact is not a good use of our time or energy. Consistently aiming for perfection can impact us financially and takes time that could be better used elsewhere. An unhealthy focus on unnecessary extra work can lead to us deprioritising other areas of our lives, and ultimately may lead to burnout. Noticing where perfectionism is creeping in is the first step. Finding the sweet spot of doing enough to create a quality product or project without spending unnecessary extra time and energy for little extra benefit is a skill that we can practice and develop. Asking ourselves: 'Do I need to spend extra time on this?' and being honest with the answer is a good first step. Tackling our perfectionist tendencies and trying to avoid an unhealthy focus on always doing more to the cost of other parts of our lives reduces the risk of burnout. It will also help us to run healthy businesses and lead healthy lives.

Listen to more tips and encouragements from Jude Kempton in my interview with her on the Cultivating Creative Podcast.

Contact Jude Kempton on her website: https://www.judekempton.com or via LinkedIn